Dear Maskers...

 Dear Maskers, 

I'd like to invite you all to play a game. It's called Never Have I Ever. If you don't know how to play, you just grab a big glass of wine or some shots and drink every time you've done something on the list. 

Ready? 

Never Have I Ever worn a mask on my chin. 

Never Have I Ever lowered my mask to talk, then pulled it back up. 

Never Have I Ever touched the front of my mask.

Never Have I Ever walked around with a mask swinging from my wrist.

Never Have I Ever put a mask down on a table then put it back on. 

Never Have I Ever put a mask in my bag or pocket between uses. 

Never Have I Ever worn the same mask multiple times without washing. 

Are you drunk yet? 

There is an argument for masks preventing infection under the pristine conditions of an operating theatre, where the practice is executed to perfection. But out in the real world, the use of masks is counter-productive. When you have it round your wrist, it's picking up dirt from everything it brushes against, and distributing all the bacteria it has accumulated from you touching it and the bacteria that is naturally in our mouths. Can you honestly tell me that you wash your hands and face with soap and water, before and after every single use, like surgeons do? Because I've not seen a single person standing outside Tesco doing that. It would be completely impractical. 

Some principles are designed for a very specific set of circumstances, and taking them out of context can completely negate, or even reverse, their effectiveness. Bicycles and motorcycles don't have seatbelts - why not? They reduce the risk of injury in a crash, don't they? But actually on a bike, it is safer to be able to remove yourself from the vehicle and allow it to fall under you, than be strapped on and fall with it. So am I saying seatbelts don't work? Am I a seatbelt denier? No. I am recognising the situations in which they are useful, and those in which they are not. 

So, dear masker, I am asking you to recognise that masks work in the setting they were designed for, but out in the real world they are only spreading bacteria and germs. I know that you wear it with the best of intentions. I know that you don't want to get in trouble. Please just ask yourself, is it better to fly under the radar with this unhygienic habit or to actually be cleaner and healthier while getting a few nasty looks? If you really care about not spreading illnesses, don't use these disgusting carriers. Forget about what people will think of you, and be strong enough to do the right thing. 

Lots of love, 

Anti-masker  Pro-clean-faces-and-fresh-air-er